1 00:00:01,993 --> 00:00:03,887 Old habits die hard. 2 00:00:03,955 --> 00:00:05,556 Don't tweet it. Eat it. 3 00:00:12,063 --> 00:00:14,098 It is not an "outfit of the day." 4 00:00:14,165 --> 00:00:15,933 It is just an outfit. 5 00:00:16,001 --> 00:00:17,101 My followers want to know what I'm wearing. 6 00:00:17,168 --> 00:00:18,669 Perhaps they can redirect their attention 7 00:00:18,737 --> 00:00:19,870 to something more important, 8 00:00:19,938 --> 00:00:22,473 like fracking or Ronan Farrow. 9 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:25,509 I'm pretty sure my followers hate both of those things. 10 00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:28,112 Henry was trying to help me become a better person. 11 00:00:28,179 --> 00:00:30,247 And even though I appreciated his help... 12 00:00:30,315 --> 00:00:32,816 "For your prompt and professional service, 13 00:00:32,884 --> 00:00:35,085 "I offer my sincere thanks. 14 00:00:35,153 --> 00:00:37,221 Kind regards. Eliza Dooley." 15 00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:39,456 I also kind of wanted him die. 16 00:00:39,524 --> 00:00:41,091 By the time the weekend rolled around, 17 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,028 I just wanted to order a latte and not say "thanks." 18 00:00:44,095 --> 00:00:46,430 Thanks. 19 00:00:47,999 --> 00:00:50,534 Any big plans this weekend? 20 00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,002 Yeah, I'm gonna try to bump into some celebrities, 21 00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:53,937 maybe hit a gifting suite, kick it with karrueche, 22 00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:56,373 yacht-hop, pitbull, binge-drink till I'm white-girl wasted. 23 00:00:56,441 --> 00:00:58,008 Pop by this pop-up party, get my grind on, 24 00:00:58,076 --> 00:00:59,610 swing by in-n-out, kiss a hamburger 25 00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:01,912 - full makeup, no filter, David Guetta. - W-what? W-why? 26 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:03,280 Why would you do any of those things? 27 00:01:03,348 --> 00:01:05,182 My friend Brit is only 17 followhores away 28 00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:06,250 from catching up to me. 29 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:07,484 "Followhores." 30 00:01:07,552 --> 00:01:09,153 So I need to cop a like spike, score a regram, 31 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:10,320 and basically, you know, 32 00:01:10,388 --> 00:01:11,622 remind Brit that she's a worthless skank. 33 00:01:11,690 --> 00:01:13,390 I can say that. 34 00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:14,391 She's my best friend. 35 00:01:14,459 --> 00:01:15,693 - Morning. - Morning. 36 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,494 - Morning. Morning. - Oh, morning. 37 00:01:20,165 --> 00:01:22,332 Not to diminish the importance of smiting your friends, 38 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,102 but could I also convince you to try something more meaningful, 39 00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,704 something more constructive, 40 00:01:26,771 --> 00:01:28,672 like, dare I say, to help others? 41 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,307 Help...Others? 42 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:32,910 - B-but it's the weekend. - And? 43 00:01:32,977 --> 00:01:35,212 Weekends are supposed to be productive. 44 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,387 Haven't you ever heard the song "working for the weekend"? 45 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,049 - No. - No? 46 00:01:39,117 --> 00:01:41,318 It's an extremely catchy pop anthem about people 47 00:01:41,386 --> 00:01:44,421 who opt to spend the weekend working. 48 00:01:44,489 --> 00:01:48,592 Everybody's working for the weekend 49 00:01:50,061 --> 00:01:55,332 Everybody needs a second chance 50 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,136 everybody's working for the weekend 51 00:02:00,638 --> 00:02:02,539 That song's not about working for the weekend. 52 00:02:02,607 --> 00:02:04,508 Beg your pardon? 53 00:02:04,576 --> 00:02:07,578 I love that song, but it's not about working for the weekend. 54 00:02:07,645 --> 00:02:09,580 It's about working for the weekend. 55 00:02:09,647 --> 00:02:10,948 That's what I said. 56 00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:13,484 No, it's about working in anticipation of the weekend. 57 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:14,918 Oh, I see. 58 00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:17,421 So the sole purpose of working is to enjoy the weekend. 59 00:02:17,489 --> 00:02:19,223 - That's exactly right. - Yes! Thank you! 60 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:20,958 Well, that was certainly not my interpretation. 61 00:02:21,025 --> 00:02:22,259 As you can imagine, 62 00:02:22,327 --> 00:02:24,261 I will now be removing that jam from my playlist. 63 00:02:24,329 --> 00:02:25,996 Okay, how about this? 64 00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:29,399 I promise to work for the weekend if you promise not to. 65 00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:31,735 And just to clarify, 'cause there has been some confusion... 66 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,971 I will accept Henry's assignment and do something to help others 67 00:02:34,038 --> 00:02:35,272 if, in return, 68 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:36,974 he will spend his weekend doing anything but working. 69 00:02:37,041 --> 00:02:39,243 He needs to let loose and have some fun. 70 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:41,006 Oh, I intend to. 71 00:02:41,038 --> 00:02:44,140 We're talking weekends, right? Mine's gonna be huge. 72 00:02:44,208 --> 00:02:47,009 Got my high-school reunion tomorrow night! 73 00:02:47,077 --> 00:02:48,544 And the one that got away 74 00:02:48,612 --> 00:02:52,081 will be in attendance... Mitchell Mcmoney. 75 00:02:52,149 --> 00:02:54,050 Now, I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, 76 00:02:54,118 --> 00:02:57,186 that the only reason why I am still single is because 77 00:02:57,254 --> 00:03:00,456 I'm destined to be Mrs. Mcmoney. 78 00:03:02,159 --> 00:03:06,062 The year was 1994. 79 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:07,763 - Yeah, I got a meeting that starts... - Shh! 80 00:03:08,762 --> 00:03:11,367 Just as we were about to exit the friend zone 81 00:03:11,435 --> 00:03:13,970 and get our grind on, someone paged me. 82 00:03:14,037 --> 00:03:15,972 The 411 was a 911, 83 00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:19,075 meaning I had to outie 5000. 84 00:03:19,143 --> 00:03:20,476 The next thing you know, 85 00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:23,312 he was on tour making oversized blazers for Jodeci, 86 00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:25,515 - and I was at Yale. - You went to Yale? 87 00:03:25,582 --> 00:03:27,016 This weekend, I'm finally gonna get my chance 88 00:03:27,084 --> 00:03:28,151 to rekindle things. 89 00:03:28,218 --> 00:03:29,152 - Charmonique? - Hmm? 90 00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:30,486 I always look good. 91 00:03:30,554 --> 00:03:32,755 I could come over tomorrow night and help you get ready, 92 00:03:32,823 --> 00:03:35,858 if you think that would be selfless and thoughtful of me. 93 00:03:35,926 --> 00:03:38,694 You know what? That would be selfless and thoughtful of you. 94 00:03:38,762 --> 00:03:40,163 - Thanks! - Yeah! 95 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:41,330 Your turn. 96 00:04:01,518 --> 00:04:02,952 Hey, Henry. 97 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:03,953 Friday night, huh? 98 00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:06,389 That's correct. About to get turnt! 99 00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:07,924 Myself, as well. 100 00:04:07,991 --> 00:04:10,193 Really? What have you got planned? 101 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,827 Well, I was planning on going home 102 00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:13,963 to not think about work for a little while. 103 00:04:14,031 --> 00:04:16,465 And I thought I'd make and enjoy a big salad. 104 00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:19,702 Might throw in some chicken I grilled two nights ago. 105 00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:20,870 Henry. 106 00:04:20,938 --> 00:04:22,872 Maybe a handful of tortilla strips 107 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:24,040 for added crunch. 108 00:04:24,107 --> 00:04:25,875 - Added crunch. - You heard. 109 00:04:25,943 --> 00:04:27,610 Henry, that's the most depressing thing 110 00:04:27,678 --> 00:04:28,878 I've ever heard. 111 00:04:28,946 --> 00:04:31,047 Well, you must be blissfully unaware of the sound 112 00:04:31,114 --> 00:04:34,217 a mother whale makes when mourning the loss of her pup. 113 00:04:34,284 --> 00:04:36,552 She basically barks across the whole ocean. 114 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:39,288 Well, I hope Saperstein doesn't bark across the ocean 115 00:04:39,356 --> 00:04:41,057 when we kill the children's vitamin line on Monday. 116 00:04:41,124 --> 00:04:42,458 - What? - Has that been confirmed? 117 00:04:42,526 --> 00:04:44,260 Oh, it's confirmed. It's going bye-bye. 118 00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:45,661 Oh, come on, Henry. 119 00:04:45,729 --> 00:04:47,597 That chewable hasn't been profitable for years now. 120 00:04:47,664 --> 00:04:49,465 We're actually losing money producing it. 121 00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:51,300 That chewable put our company on the map! 122 00:04:51,368 --> 00:04:54,637 The year was several years ago. 123 00:04:54,705 --> 00:04:57,807 The assignment was to make kids excited about minerals. 124 00:04:57,874 --> 00:04:59,475 Until then, our kids chewable 125 00:04:59,543 --> 00:05:01,644 had been a blue oval that tasted like dirt. 126 00:05:01,712 --> 00:05:03,546 But I supposed children would prefer 127 00:05:03,614 --> 00:05:06,148 a vibrant orange elephant that tasted like tangerine. 128 00:05:06,216 --> 00:05:07,183 And, damn it, they did! 129 00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:09,652 Our chewable flew off the shelves, 130 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,853 and kinderkare pharmaceuticals 131 00:05:10,921 --> 00:05:13,022 won the prestigious Brandmar award. 132 00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:15,157 That little orange elephant is a rock star, 133 00:05:15,225 --> 00:05:16,926 and my first big rebrand. 134 00:05:16,994 --> 00:05:19,262 It's a relic, and it can't keep up 135 00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:21,597 with its younger, hipper, gummier counterparts. 136 00:05:21,665 --> 00:05:22,765 Look, I know it sucks, 137 00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:24,267 but sometimes you got to cut down the old trees 138 00:05:24,334 --> 00:05:25,768 to let the new ones grow. 139 00:05:25,836 --> 00:05:26,936 Am I right, father time? 140 00:05:27,004 --> 00:05:29,305 Who's father time? I'm father time? 141 00:05:29,373 --> 00:05:30,773 I'm not the one planning my weekend 142 00:05:30,841 --> 00:05:31,941 around a bowl of roughage. 143 00:05:32,009 --> 00:05:33,943 - I said with grilled chicken! - Oh, wow. 144 00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:35,144 Sir. 145 00:05:35,212 --> 00:05:38,047 Grilled chicken could be fun. 146 00:05:38,115 --> 00:05:39,982 I thought so. 147 00:05:47,457 --> 00:05:49,892 Our chewable's history, isn't it? 148 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,794 I don't know... 149 00:05:51,862 --> 00:05:55,131 don't flimflam me, son. Give it to me straight. 150 00:05:55,198 --> 00:05:57,300 Sir, I'm gonna think of something. 151 00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:59,135 - I'm gonna work through the weekend... - There's no point. 152 00:05:59,202 --> 00:06:00,503 It's already gone. 153 00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:02,305 Its chalky soul left the building hours ago. 154 00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:03,606 I can feel it. 155 00:06:03,674 --> 00:06:07,043 And if I know that fruity rascal like I think I do, 156 00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:09,045 it would want us to carry on. 157 00:06:10,614 --> 00:06:12,315 Have a great weekend. 158 00:06:15,719 --> 00:06:21,424 So...Carry on and have a...Great weekend. 159 00:06:21,491 --> 00:06:26,028 The next night, I showed up at Charmonique's place. 160 00:06:26,096 --> 00:06:29,332 I would do my good deed, then get the hell out of dodge. 161 00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:35,071 No, thank you. 162 00:06:35,138 --> 00:06:37,206 Move. 163 00:06:37,274 --> 00:06:38,607 Mom! 164 00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:41,377 Now, he remembers me with the Mary J. Blige, 165 00:06:41,445 --> 00:06:43,479 but a part of me wants to flip the script 166 00:06:43,547 --> 00:06:45,548 and hit him with some Erykah bad... 167 00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:48,150 - Mm-hmm. I understand that instinct. - Okay. 168 00:06:48,218 --> 00:06:50,119 But when you completely reinvent your look, 169 00:06:50,187 --> 00:06:51,554 you run the risk of 170 00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:53,522 people not knowing who the hell you are... 171 00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:55,991 I.E. Ren?e Zellweger, who still looks good... 172 00:06:56,059 --> 00:06:59,295 But doesn't look a damn thing like miss Ren?e Zellweger. 173 00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:00,930 Mm-hmm. I see what you mean. 174 00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:02,531 Mm. Exactly. 175 00:07:02,599 --> 00:07:05,034 Whoo! Okay. So, let's try the t-boz. 176 00:07:05,102 --> 00:07:08,070 Okay. Thank you. 177 00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:11,240 Oh, I love it. 178 00:07:12,609 --> 00:07:15,010 no, I don't want no scrubs 179 00:07:15,078 --> 00:07:17,646 A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me 180 00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:20,916 hanging on the passenger side of his best friend's ride 181 00:07:20,984 --> 00:07:22,251 - Try... - Oh, no. 182 00:07:22,319 --> 00:07:23,652 Oh, hell, no. 183 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,755 Please, no, no. This can't be happening. 184 00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:27,356 - What's wrong? - She's sick. 185 00:07:27,424 --> 00:07:29,358 - My sitter's sick! - She's sick?! 186 00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:31,861 Yeah, she says she had bad Mexican food at the mall 187 00:07:31,928 --> 00:07:32,995 and she can't stop vomiting. 188 00:07:33,063 --> 00:07:34,130 Did you tell her she can vomit here? 189 00:07:34,197 --> 00:07:36,599 Oh. 190 00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:41,837 "You...Can... Vomit...Here." 191 00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:43,172 What did she say? 192 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,941 She says she isn't coming. 193 00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:49,845 My psychic said an unknown force would keep me from true love. 194 00:07:49,913 --> 00:07:51,113 But I didn't think 195 00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:53,983 it was gonna be a $5 burrito from the food court. 196 00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:55,618 I'm really sorry. 197 00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:58,220 And no one's gonna be able to come on such short notice. 198 00:07:58,288 --> 00:07:59,889 Mm. Probably not, no. 199 00:07:59,956 --> 00:08:01,690 So that's it. 200 00:08:01,758 --> 00:08:03,392 I'm gonna miss my reunion 201 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,694 and my chance to find true love. 202 00:08:05,762 --> 00:08:08,931 It sure sounds that way. 203 00:08:08,999 --> 00:08:11,000 Yeah. 204 00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:14,470 I can't think of one single solution 205 00:08:14,538 --> 00:08:17,473 in this whole, entire universe 206 00:08:17,541 --> 00:08:21,877 that would allow me to go to my event tonight. 207 00:08:21,945 --> 00:08:22,878 Can you? 208 00:08:32,589 --> 00:08:33,489 No. 209 00:08:34,957 --> 00:08:37,588 Now, he only eats nuggets, so just nuggets for dinner, 210 00:08:37,656 --> 00:08:39,023 maybe one or two nuggets before bed, 211 00:08:39,091 --> 00:08:40,791 and, if I'm not home by morning, 212 00:08:40,859 --> 00:08:42,627 a bowl of nuggets with some O.J. 213 00:08:42,694 --> 00:08:46,998 Um, okay, here is my number if you need to reach me. 214 00:08:47,065 --> 00:08:49,267 Oh, I would like to request that 215 00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:51,335 you keep the door to my wig colosseum closed 216 00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:53,104 because, if I did not make it clear, 217 00:08:53,171 --> 00:08:56,007 this whole situation is on climate control 218 00:08:56,074 --> 00:08:58,142 and has an estimated value of 60 grand. 219 00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,877 $60,000? 220 00:08:59,945 --> 00:09:00,912 Okay, Kevin, I'm leaving. 221 00:09:00,979 --> 00:09:02,304 Get it. 222 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,442 I will, baby. 223 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,910 Mwah! 224 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,212 I'm gonna call you soon, okay? 225 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,514 Oh, and, Eliza, thank you for this. 226 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:09,982 Ah, ah! 227 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,417 I owe you one. 228 00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:12,885 Get it! 229 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,087 I'm not gonna let you die. 230 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,122 I can't. 231 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,193 - Hello? - Thanks a lot, Henry. 232 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,695 That one nice thing you made me do 233 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,063 turned into another nice thing. 234 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,332 - That's wonderful. - No, it's not wonderful! 235 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,900 Now I'm actually working for the weekend, 236 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,869 which you'd better not be, because that was our deal. 237 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,170 What do you think... I'm over here hanging out 238 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,938 with a bottle of vitamins? No. 239 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,008 I promise you... I am full of salad, 240 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,011 and I'm about to get... Turnt. 241 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,280 Well, that makes one of us. 242 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,119 Want to dress up like Power Rangers? 243 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,954 No. 244 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,457 What's wrong? You don't like kids? 245 00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:53,326 - They're okay. - Then what? 246 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,227 You wouldn't understand. 247 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,362 Try me. 248 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,431 It's just my friend Brit and I have 249 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,566 this highly competitive relationship. 250 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,101 She a Virgo? 251 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,637 Continue. 252 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,273 We're constantly battling over who's more famous, 253 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:09,275 and, duh, it's always me. 254 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,377 But last weekend, brit almost broke instagram 255 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,678 when she got iced-out grills, 256 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,146 made out with Courtney love, 257 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,916 and stepped up her corn nut game by posting those picante limons. 258 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:21,153 Hold up. When did corn nuts drop picante limons? 259 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,290 I was gonna go so hard tonight to defend my crown, 260 00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,492 but now I'm stuck here with you. 261 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,727 Are you? 262 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,061 I'm pretty sure I am, yeah. 263 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,798 The Internet is all about illusions, girl. 264 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,066 You know that. 265 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,102 I do know that. 266 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,305 Charmonique, you look amazing! 267 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:40,573 Thanks, Jeanette. You, too. 268 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,974 Did you hear about Joe Miner? 269 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,076 His wife left him, and he got hair plugs. 270 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,178 Okay. That's nice. Listen. 271 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,646 Hey. Hey. Bring it down. 272 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,582 Now, I don't mean no disrespect, 273 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,418 but I did not come here to talk smack with you thirsty ratchets. 274 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:55,988 I came here for one reason and one reason only. 275 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,556 - Charmonique? - Mitchell. 276 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,359 - Hi, Mitchell. - Hi, Mitchell. 277 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,329 Jeanette, Chantaal, please break the hell out. 278 00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,566 I was afraid I'd never see you again. 279 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,169 I would never let that happen. You have to know that 280 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,605 I've waited a long time for this opportunity, Charmonique. 281 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,606 Me, too. 282 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,276 When I heard that you were a mother, 283 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:21,013 well, there were no words to describe the way I felt. 284 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,615 But when I found out you weren't married 285 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,983 - or even with the father... - Shh. 286 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,618 Mitchell, no, no. Wait. 287 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,753 Let's not do this here. 288 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:30,289 Let's get rid of our coats and find a quiet place to talk. 289 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,191 Wonderful. That's a great idea. 290 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,964 Looks like you, sir boysenberry, 291 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,434 shall reign until the first of the month. 292 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,504 Whereas your days, lord Key Lime of Custard, are numbered. 293 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,806 You, there! 294 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,108 You sneaky Greek bastard. 295 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,343 Expired. 296 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,579 You'll hang for your crime! 297 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,484 I have to get out of the house. 298 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,039 Po shut us down? 299 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,511 Eliza, you cannot have a child at... 300 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,813 this isn't a wild party. 301 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,983 Nope! But it 'grammed like one, right? 302 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,752 It really did. You two really appeared to be having a blast. 303 00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,689 Oh, we were... Until you got here. 304 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,124 Okay, deejay pre-k. 305 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,426 But it's almost midnight, 306 00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:42,394 and I'm guessing it's way past your bedtime. 307 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,130 This one goes out to my man. 308 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,100 Oh, I get it. 309 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,636 You think 'cause I'm Korean I automatically like k-pop. 310 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,492 I certainly don't mean to lecture you. 311 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,461 But when you engage in immoral sex, 312 00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,563 it's not just an oops upside your head. 313 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,331 It's also an oops upside the head of 314 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,600 our lord and creator, Christ almighty. 315 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,902 Oh, Mitchell, come on. 316 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,870 You were on tour with Jodeci. 317 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,306 Which is why I had to repent... 318 00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:28,941 specifically for providing the leatherwear 319 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,376 in their "Freek'n You" video. 320 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,511 When I think about all the fornication I fostered... 321 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:36,081 I can't believe I flat-ironed my MJB for this. 322 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,684 Excuse me, Mitchell. I have to check in on my son. 323 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:39,852 Uh, while you're at it, 324 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,754 could you also check in on the son of God? 325 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,422 He's been waiting to hear from you. 326 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,926 I've never put a child to bed before. 327 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,194 I'm sure it'll be fine. 328 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,731 Good night, Kevin. 329 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,900 And to you. 330 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,336 I'm going to turn the light off now. 331 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,938 I understand. 332 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,906 You do what you got to do. 333 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,841 Mm-hmm. 334 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:11,250 - What was that? - I'm not sure. 335 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,885 Oh, my God, it sounded like Eddie Murphy. 336 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,588 Is that him? I-is he choking? 337 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,057 I want my mom! 338 00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,024 He wants his mom! What are we gonna do?! 339 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,259 His mom's not here! E-e-eliza! 340 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,194 We got to remain calm and be of comfort to Kevin. 341 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,797 The lights went out, and he's like a totally different person. 342 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,599 Bedtime can be really stressful for kids. 343 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,635 Let's try and soothe him, shall we? Yeah. 344 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:33,739 Kevin, is there something soothing 345 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,574 that your mother does for you at bedtime? 346 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,243 She fills my humidifier... 347 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,313 - Humidif... - Puts on my air purifier, 348 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,982 turns off my closet light... 349 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:43,949 - You get the closet! - Okay. 350 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,084 Turns on my bathroom light, 351 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,819 - finds my stuffed lion... - Here! 352 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:47,820 Okay, I got it! I got it! 353 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,755 - Gives him to me... - Rawr! 354 00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:53,592 Takes away one pillow, adds one extra blanket... 355 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,027 - Get the blanket! - I got the blanket! 356 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,296 Sprays three pumps of lavender mist... 357 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,631 Lavender! 358 00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,865 Yeah. 359 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,700 Cracks the window and closes the door. 360 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,103 You get the door. 361 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:07,473 All right. 362 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,142 Then she sings "Ease on Down the Road" 363 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,143 from "The Wiz." 364 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,811 I never saw "The Wiz"! 365 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,517 There, there. 366 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,886 Don't... Make that noise. 367 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,489 As I watched Henry pat Kevin's afro, 368 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,125 I realized I wasn't going clubbing tonight. 369 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:30,913 Come on, Kevin. 370 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:34,228 No super-cool deejays cry for their mommies! 371 00:15:38,282 --> 00:15:39,583 Hello. 372 00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:41,084 Eliza, is everything okay? 373 00:15:41,152 --> 00:15:44,187 - Everything's great. - Uh-oh, I hear Eddie Murphy. 374 00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:46,656 Kevin is just a little anxious. Maybe about going to bed. 375 00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:48,258 Well, did you give him his bedtime nuggets? 376 00:15:48,326 --> 00:15:49,526 - His what? - His bedtime nuggets. 377 00:15:49,594 --> 00:15:51,595 I told you... he needs two or three of those 378 00:15:51,662 --> 00:15:52,996 before he can go to sleep. 379 00:15:53,064 --> 00:15:54,898 His bedtime nuggets, of course. I completely forgot. 380 00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:57,033 Hey, Kevin, would you like some bedtime nuggets? 381 00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:59,469 - You know what? - I would. 382 00:15:59,537 --> 00:16:01,404 Oh! Oh! 383 00:16:01,472 --> 00:16:02,706 Thanks, Charmonique. 384 00:16:02,774 --> 00:16:04,841 Somehow, you called at the exact right time 385 00:16:04,909 --> 00:16:06,676 and knew exactly what to do. 386 00:16:06,744 --> 00:16:08,078 You're the best mom ever. 387 00:16:09,781 --> 00:16:13,083 You know what? I am. Hmm. 388 00:16:13,151 --> 00:16:15,318 - Everything good? - Everything's great. 389 00:16:15,386 --> 00:16:17,020 You know, I don't know if 390 00:16:17,088 --> 00:16:20,123 you were trying to make me feel bad about my life choices. 391 00:16:20,191 --> 00:16:22,692 But I'm sorry, Father Mcmoney... I don't. 392 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,929 And I'm glad that you found higher love. 393 00:16:28,466 --> 00:16:33,270 But I have self-love, and that's real love. 394 00:16:33,337 --> 00:16:35,539 So now if you'll excuse me, 395 00:16:35,606 --> 00:16:37,007 they're playing my jam. 396 00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:41,244 Sometimes, when the grind window closes, 397 00:16:41,312 --> 00:16:43,513 the door to enlightenment opens. 398 00:16:54,892 --> 00:16:57,060 Eliza? 399 00:16:57,128 --> 00:16:58,695 Yes, Kevin? 400 00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:00,697 Did we get a like spike? 401 00:17:00,765 --> 00:17:03,066 We sure did, buddy. We sure did. 402 00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:06,469 You did? 403 00:17:06,537 --> 00:17:08,238 Absolutely not. 404 00:17:08,306 --> 00:17:09,506 I actually lost followers 405 00:17:09,574 --> 00:17:11,074 by posting those pics of Kevin. 406 00:17:11,142 --> 00:17:12,042 Brit crushed me. 407 00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:13,677 What up, doolio? 408 00:17:13,744 --> 00:17:15,612 It's your girl fit Brit. 409 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,883 Check your stats, hon, 'cause I just smoked your ass. 410 00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,318 Well, I'm really proud of you. 411 00:17:21,385 --> 00:17:22,886 You did a really good job tonight. 412 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,655 Brit may have killed the instagame, 413 00:17:25,723 --> 00:17:28,391 but I had earned Henry's respect 414 00:17:28,459 --> 00:17:30,527 and kept a small child alive. 415 00:17:33,998 --> 00:17:35,065 Damn. 416 00:17:35,132 --> 00:17:36,600 Is there anything in the world kids love 417 00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,201 more than chicken nuggets? 418 00:17:38,269 --> 00:17:39,236 Maybe not. 419 00:17:39,303 --> 00:17:42,772 Hey. Maybe not. 420 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,377 Vita-nuggets... 421 00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:50,013 chicken nuggets with vitamin-infused breading. 422 00:17:50,081 --> 00:17:52,215 It's their dinner and their daily allowance, all in one! 423 00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:53,750 Look how excited you are. 424 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,721 With vita-nuggets, 425 00:17:57,788 --> 00:18:00,991 we move from the pharmacy to the frozen-foods aisle. 426 00:18:01,058 --> 00:18:03,326 What happens if they want seconds? 427 00:18:03,394 --> 00:18:05,061 Which got us thinking. 428 00:18:05,129 --> 00:18:06,830 With vitamins disguising themselves as 429 00:18:06,898 --> 00:18:09,599 gum balls and sour worms and Teddy bears 430 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,701 and even, in theory, chicken nuggets, 431 00:18:11,769 --> 00:18:14,671 how many calls must poison control receive annually 432 00:18:14,739 --> 00:18:19,042 from parents whose children have unintentionally overdosed? 433 00:18:19,110 --> 00:18:20,710 The answer is... 434 00:18:20,778 --> 00:18:22,412 An ass-load. 435 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,847 Eliza, the data, please. 436 00:18:23,915 --> 00:18:25,148 "Eliza, the data, please." 437 00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:29,119 Um an estimated 50,000 calls a year... 438 00:18:29,186 --> 00:18:30,921 so two ass-loads. 439 00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:33,556 Wow. Two ass-loads. 440 00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:36,660 Sir, there are people in this room who will tell you that 441 00:18:36,727 --> 00:18:40,096 our vitamin needs to be cooler, hipper, gummier, 442 00:18:40,164 --> 00:18:42,299 that it needs to pretend to be something it is not. 443 00:18:42,366 --> 00:18:45,468 Like Jessica Simpson when she dated John Mayer. 444 00:18:45,536 --> 00:18:46,603 Who did she think she was kidding? 445 00:18:46,671 --> 00:18:47,837 I know, right? 446 00:18:47,905 --> 00:18:50,140 But I maintain, 447 00:18:50,207 --> 00:18:52,042 for this vitamin to be a success, 448 00:18:52,109 --> 00:18:56,913 all it needs to do is keep being a vitamin... 449 00:18:59,283 --> 00:19:03,653 with a pleasant but not delicious orangey taste. 450 00:19:03,721 --> 00:19:06,923 Mm. No one's eating a bottle of these bad boys. 451 00:19:08,025 --> 00:19:10,827 That's what makes them safe. 452 00:19:10,895 --> 00:19:12,696 That's what we tell parents 453 00:19:12,763 --> 00:19:16,533 because what parent doesn't want their child to be safe? 454 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,470 So we take down our competitors by exposing a strength 455 00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:21,871 which is actually a weakness? 456 00:19:21,939 --> 00:19:23,173 Yes. 457 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,809 It's nothing short of brilliant! 458 00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:27,877 Oh! How about that?! 459 00:19:27,945 --> 00:19:30,513 Our elephant shall ride again! 460 00:19:30,581 --> 00:19:31,681 Come here, you. 461 00:19:31,749 --> 00:19:33,483 Oh, o-okay. 462 00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:35,986 I could dip you. 463 00:19:36,053 --> 00:19:37,287 Oh! Actually, sir, it was Eliza's revelation. 464 00:19:37,355 --> 00:19:38,355 Eliza. 465 00:19:40,157 --> 00:19:42,425 Aah! 466 00:19:42,493 --> 00:19:43,827 That's magnificent work. 467 00:19:43,894 --> 00:19:45,328 - Thank you. - No, thank you. 468 00:19:48,132 --> 00:19:50,400 You two really are quite the power couple. 469 00:19:50,468 --> 00:19:51,568 Oh, no, sir. We're just... 470 00:19:51,635 --> 00:19:53,603 Perfect together. You really are. 471 00:19:53,671 --> 00:19:56,139 I mean, can you imagine how exquisite the offspring? 472 00:19:56,207 --> 00:19:58,641 Oh, I imagine they'd be quite ugly, sir. 473 00:19:58,709 --> 00:20:01,378 Red-headed Koreans... it's not a good look. 474 00:20:04,658 --> 00:20:06,063 Typically. 475 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:10,783 Okay, so, what is "everyone Wang Chung tonight" about? 476 00:20:10,822 --> 00:20:12,755 That I don't know, but I can tell you 477 00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:15,454 that "Sussudio" is the name of Phil Collins' horse 478 00:20:15,479 --> 00:20:17,575 and that "Yah Mo B There" is actually an allegory. 479 00:20:17,613 --> 00:20:20,161 Okay. What is "Private Dancer" about? 480 00:20:20,199 --> 00:20:21,793 I think that one's pretty self-explanatory. 481 00:20:21,832 --> 00:20:23,476 Oh, Henry, can I talk to you for a sec? 482 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:24,894 - What's up? - Well... 483 00:20:24,907 --> 00:20:27,116 Well, you know how I did exactly what you instructed me to do, 484 00:20:27,141 --> 00:20:29,501 and I spent the whole weekend helping others, including you? 485 00:20:29,526 --> 00:20:30,932 - Yes. - And you know how you were supposed 486 00:20:30,952 --> 00:20:33,286 to have fun and not work, but you did the opposite, so you lose and I win? 487 00:20:33,312 --> 00:20:34,052 Okay. 488 00:20:34,077 --> 00:20:35,935 I was thinking that maybe I should get some kind of reward. 489 00:20:35,948 --> 00:20:37,642 Reward? What did you have in mind? 490 00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:39,462 $60,000. 491 00:20:39,475 --> 00:20:42,324 I accidentally left Charmonique's wig closet open. 492 00:20:42,779 --> 00:20:44,473 I have bad news for you, eliza. 493 00:20:44,498 --> 00:20:46,231 I actually had fun this weekend. 494 00:20:46,256 --> 00:20:48,390 - You did not! - I had a freaking blast. 495 00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:50,097 No! No! You're a liar! 496 00:20:50,134 --> 00:20:52,005 Fine, then just $30,000, 497 00:20:52,026 --> 00:20:53,796 made out to Charmonique! 498 00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:55,026 Henry! 499 00:20:56,470 --> 00:21:00,964 Sync and corrections by madhatters www.addic7ed.com 500 00:21:01,014 --> 00:21:05,564 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0